Many days my heart just throbs from something I’ve heard, seen or learned.
This last week has been especially painful and hard.
It has felt like a mountain of chaos that has continued to grow bigger, filled with sadness and feeling so helpless. One crisis after another, most with no easy solution.
For the last week I’ve felt like I was swallowing down the pain even as it was gurgling up in my throat.
I couldn’t did not even want to process through all that had happened. Learning about several new cases this week of severe abuse, rape and abortions involving precious students in our school.
Our sweet 5-year-old student Valdano who is suffering from meningitis and hydrocephalus getting closer and closer to meeting Jesus.
Trust being broken by people we work with and believed were working with us.
And then, yesterday, my mom’s best friend of 40+ years, Mrs. Nancy, passed away.
She was someone who always encouraged me spiritually. She was the first one to buy me a study bible. She whole-heartedly believed in me and what I was doing in Haiti. She ALWAYS encouraged me with scripture and gave me her support. She constantly reminded and supported my mom about God’s plans He had for me and my family in Haiti.
She believed in this journey God put me on. She read the book before it was even published and then gave it out like it was candy, telling everyone about what God was doing in little Gressier, Haiti.
When I let everything settle in this morning, it felt like an eruption of emotion. Her death was like the straw that broke the camels back…I couldn’t hold it in anymore and as I got my ugly cry on I realized that I was trying to be the strong one instead of letting Christ be strong.
As I lay in bed this morning crying and feeling the pain that had been held up in my heart, I felt like this broken world had gotten the best of me. For a few solid minutes I felt defeated, broken and was about to be okay with nesting in my pit of sadness.
But then my husband came and spoke truth over me. Truth that is HARD to understand, HARD to hear when you are in the abyss of hurt in pain. Truth that is HARD to swallow when your pain is trying to make you vomit.
“We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5
He spoke this over me telling me to remember that suffering brings us closer to Christ. He reminded me that this IS a broken world.
A world where we are worried about paying a 1 million dollar fine for a football team while literally 2 hours away there are children who can’t eat, go to school and are dying from completely preventable and treatable diseases.
A world where children are not always valued, loved and treated the way they should be.
A world that presents problems that sometimes DO not have solutions.
A world where things happen that are sometimes not logical and don’t make any sense.
But Josh and God did not let me stay there in that abyss of pain, hurt and hopelessness.
Because STILL, the PEACE of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I was reminded that Peace is KNOWING something not always feeling it.
When my children in our school suffer and hurt, so do I.
When my family and friends suffer and hurt, so do I.
But that suffering has an end result that is NOT sadness, despair or pain, but is instead HOPE. Hope in JESUS.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18
I realized that for the last week I was trying to avoid feeling hurt and sad. Avoiding emotion is a lot easier than feeling sometimes…at least for a while.
But then, there it was, that glimmer of light. HOPE.
And He said, I have put your school in a position to be a LIGHT for these children. To be their SAFE PLACE.
And Jesus, who is all knowing, all-powerful, He saw it fit to bring Mrs. Nancy home. And her suffering on earth is finished, and she has now met her heavenly Father.
In the end, there is peace instead of pain. Joy not sadness. And no more suffering but instead FREEDOM in Jesus.
As my heart hurts because we have lost a beautiful, encouraging and God-loving mother, wife, sister and friend on earth, we can REJOICE because heaven gained a beautiful angel and now Mrs. Nancy is able to see all that God has done on Bellevue Mountain in Gressier with the Boss in heaven who really did it all.
meganboudreaux.com 
Megan, I don’t know you. But having been to Haiti three times, I understand. Thank you for what you do for those children. Thank you for letting God work through you so that He might be revealed to them. Thank you for all you do.
Beautiful words that encouraged me tonight facing some medical challenges of my own. I’m praying for you. My husband is there with a medical team right now at the Haitian Queen in Gressier. As you are faithful God is faithful. May he fill you with His peace. Laura
My immediate thought is, what can we do?? And then I realize you are NOT in America with an “easy” sinus infection or sore throat Greg and I can fix. And we like fixing things. So I will pray. And pray some more for your precious precious heart and Josh’s too. We love you. We love your ministry to these babies in Haiti. We trust in the CALL with you, even on the days it makes NO sense, knowing that He is a bigger God than our pitiful minds can possibly bear. He is also constantly PURPOSING our life events for His glory and working out ALL things for good for those of us who love Him and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28- there’s that chapter again?!!). Also, check out the end of the chapter, vs 31-39. And Isaiah 14:24. And know that He is -right now- every day- PURPOSING every event in our lives to bring us closer to Him….
BIG, MAD LOVE,
abby from Knoxville, TN
I just wanted to tell you how much it blessed my heart to read this…I truly needed to hear these words of encouragement today. I lost my daddy about 6 wks ago to cancer. He was a fine, Christian man, that raised me up to love Jesus, and I have no doubt in my mind where he is right now. And while I have such great assurance in that, I also have such a void in my life that can’t be explained, because my daddy was my rock. I have really been struggling with losing him, but I also feel as if I’m being very selfish. I know that my loss is only temporary, and in a very short time, I will get to spend eternity with my Daddy worshipping at the feet of Jesus, along with many others who have gone on before us too. Only God can give us the true comfort we need during times like these….always stay strong in your faith!!
My prayers are with you Megan and also understand your pain. God will always make things good out of what the devil wants to make bad and He , the Lord will turn all of that to His purpose. Hard to understand betrayal but it happens in Haiti a lot. Remember that God will always stay faithful to your call and will perform His purpose through you no matter what others do or do not do.
blessings
Thank you Megan. My prayers are with you. Carolyn
Carolyn, Briefly sent from my iPhone
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I am so sorry for your loss of this precious woman who was such an encourager to you and so important in your walk with Christ here on earth. May the LORD continue to comfort you, as you grieve the loss of Nancy. May you take from her life all that she intended for you to have. May your memories of her and the LORD’s peace, overshadow your pain. Cry when you need to and remember her with joy…she is in a place of inexplicable joy!! May the LORD comfort you in all things, dear Megan.
Awe Megan, I’m sharing my tears with your’s sweetheart! I’m snibling a righteous cry and tears for the grief in your soul.
Ms. Nancy’s passing on is tremendous loss for you. Please read REV. 5:8 which tells us the 24 elders offer Jesus the golden bowls filled with the prayers of the Saints. Undoubtedly, Ms. Nancy’s prayers for you and your loving work is included in the bowls and the elders are singing a new song ‘Worthy is the Lamb’ (and will continue through eternity). Ms. Nancy is praising with them! Truly!
I love the lyrics, ‘there may be pain in night, but joy comes in the morning’. Please don’t let the enemy take your joy; Jesus needs you to keep your eyes on Jehovah as He has defeated the enemy completely. He prepared a very wise husband for you to accompany you through these times 🙂
My condolences and sisterly love,
Lynda Spooner
Nashville, Tennessee
Dear Megan, Josh and family
Thank you for the post Megan, I know your heart is very heavy and sometimes we just wonder where and when will all this hurt that occurs in our world end, but we both know when that will happen! I also wonder where are peoples priorities, do they not understand and see what is happening, someday the scales will fall off their eyelids and all will become realized.
We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers, just a bit of advice I suppose and I know I have passed this along to Bernard â Change the things that God has given you the knowledge and strength to do, PRAY for God to do the REST, IN HIS TIME.
Gods Blessings to you all, God has given you all the knowledge and strength to do what needs to be done in Gressier.
Love you all, KEEP THE FAITH!
Gene
May God bless you with continued peace regarding all the issues you spoke to in this note. We can only do what God wants us to do, nothing more. Fix your eyes on Jesus the author and protector of our faith who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising it’s shame and sat down at the right hand of God.” KJV I believe or close to it. Let His love make you the light shining that many can see Jesus through you.
“Jesus wept.” The shortest verse in the Bible says volumes.
You’re the most courageous, kind, God-serving girl I’ve ever heard of, and you are in more prayers than you will ever know. But you are a human girl. There will be times you will cry while you’re on this earth. But you will smile, too. And laugh, and dance, sing, and whoop – all glimpses of Heaven here on earth.
Right after John 11:35, Jesus performed one of the greatest miracles in the Bible. Weeping didn’t weaken Our Lord one bit. With The Holy Spirit, Jesus moved to the next level.
You go ahead and cry, Megan. It helps wash away what just happened. So you can move again.
I hope to go to Gressier soon and see all that The Lord has been having you do! First I need to go back to Kenya in August and do some workshops with the school teachers there, His Treasured Teachers. The Lord has mighty plans for this next generation. Even the Deputy President of Kenya is coming to our conference this year. The Lord had been moving fast with this. Last year was the first year and we had 100 teachers in Mombasa. This year, reps from six African nations are attending, and we only have two educators so far going to teach and lead discussions for the two days. We could sure use more teachers, presenters, and session leaders. But sometimes The Lord likes to pare down the numbers so we know the victory is His! He’s been with you all along, Megan, as you know.
There’s more victory for the Kingdom coming! You can be sure of it. You continue in my prayers.
Blessings,
Daisy Whisenant
Sent from my iPhone
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Dear Megan,
I’m sorry for your loss! May God continue blessing you and your family, be always your strongwhole and equip you with courage for the fine work you have been doing.
As Haitian citizen I have grateful for what you’re doing.
Please receive my most sincere sympathies.
Remember please I met you and your some months ago in Hotel Karibe with the children you are helping under your organization Respire Haiti.
To correct my previous comment:
I wanted to say your Stronghold, God; I have felt grateful for what you are doing in Haiti;
I met you and your mom some months ago in Karibe Hotei with the children.
My sincerest sympathies!
Sweet Megan, thank you so much for sharing your pain. I needed to remember the point of suffering, and the HOPE that we get through the Holy Spirit, even through our pain. Thank you. You will be in my prayers, as well as your beautiful school and children.
I am so sorry about all the hurt you’re experiencing, Megan. I sent your ministry an e-mail this morning and now that I’ve read what a rough couple weeks you’ve had, I feel bad for bothering you all at this time. I will pray even more for you, Haiti and all the precious children and adults you are serving there…especially those who are suffering and/or oppressed. May Jesus comfort you, pick you up yet again and continue to show Himself mighty through you!!!
I’m told there is no word “coincidence” in the Hebrew language. All is under God’s sovereignty. Our Lord is perfect and He has placed you in Haiti as a display of His perfect love to His lost sheep. You have been obedient to His will. Many souls have been saved as a result of that obedience. You have inspired many to obey His calling for them, so then many others will be saved because you listened and obeyed His guidance.
I purchased your book and was blessed to know the details of your journey. Our Lord blessed you with a new language and a new family. His miracles have abounded in your life which has produced your strong faith in Him. He is preparing you for harder times ahead. Be strong, be faithful until the race is finished. Then you will collected your rewards in Heaven (not that you were ever seeking them).
Truly,
Your sister in Christ, Donna
Hello Megan and Josh, I was raised in Haiti, then my wife and I worked in Haiti for 12 years. We began down the road from you at a place called Flon, before the Momance River. We’ve spent the last 15 years working in Thailand. We are hoping to do some diligence work for a couple missions in Haiti in Sept. Great job! Would love to visit sometime. Ron & Denise Hamme
I saw you first on Life Today with James and Betty Robison, and went out and purchased your book and read it within short order. I purchased several of your books for friends, and told them how what you are doing – your courage in the face of such hardship, had blessed me – had given me hope for those who take on such incredibly difficult circumstances. And today, I am sending a check to support what you are doing. Never lose hope – I would imagine how easily one could fall into that trap given your circumstances, but you are so right about our loving God. Christ is there, and we can rely on His strength in all situations. Bless you and your family, and your continued work in Haiti – you will be in my prayers.
Megan, just seen you on LifeToday and was totally inspired by what you are doing! I am totally in awe of God and the way He gave you the language to speak! A total miracle!
I have actually emailed your website in hope that me and my family might be able to visit over the Christmas period and help out in some way, I will wait !
Just to encourage you though in this sad time – last night my friend shared something from a book of Madame Jeanne Guyon, where she spoke of her life being like a river, and when she first found Christ, it was all uphill and beautiful, but then the river went over the mountain top and was all down hill from there, lots of bashing against rocks, painful experiences, then there came a time where she went over a bigger mountain and then went underground, where she was still getting bashed around against the rocks, but this time it was in darkness, she couldn’t even see them coming, eventually she went over another mountain and this time the river met the ocean, and then she was no longer the river, but now in something much bigger – in Him. The buffetings and the pain makes us, shapes us, makes us depend on Him, brings us much closer to Him, until eventually it is no longer us, but Him? I hope this makes sense, it sounded fab to me last night! Not to be glib about your pain, I get it, we don’t understand so much, but just keep showing your scars, and your pain, because it helps others to be real about theirs too!
God bless you Megan, your family, your mum and your work. It is truly amazing! I Hope to meet you all one day!
Mandy